the gift that keeps on giving...

When we started building in April of 2008, we hired a plumber to do two things: 1. He was to plumb HJC and 2. He was to project manage the construction of the facility.

It didn't take long for me to realize I was in for a struggle. Being a man of a certain age he didn't take kindly to taking direction from a woman of lesser age - he chose to laugh off deadlines I set and discuss me and my family to the contractors on site that still listened to him. He chose to turn off his cell phone when I was trying to get a hold of him and he chose to tell me more often than not: "you can't do that" or "it can't be done".

Little did the plumber from hell know how much I hated the word can't.

He became a constant headache and instead of listening to my priorities he chose to go about things in his own way, manner or time. So I chose to micromanage him until the day he messed up once too often and it was suggested he leave and never (ever) come back. After all I had been doing most of his job for him since the beginning of the building project.

Now I'm not naive. I know perfectly well my strengths and weaknesses. I am not a builder. I will never be a builder, but that said goals are goals and people actively standing in the way of you accomplishing your goals need to be removed. The atmosphere on site instantly improved, it was no longer a fight to the death over every single little detail.

However, the day the septic system clogged and it was suggested we would have to dig up the entire system to rectify the problem - I realized my desperate need for a good plumber. So I found a new one and immediately I cursed the old one.

Shortly after that the kitchen sink started leaking.

Shortly after that the weather worsened and my taps froze in the barn. They sit sheltered in an alleyway and share an insulated wall with my heated office. This by far is the worst offence when you have 5 horses who in the winter on a diet of hay will cruise through gallons of water a day. Now if the tap in the barn had frozen during a spell of -20 I would understand while trucking water from indoors - however this tap froze the minute it hit zero degrees. It could be RAINING out and the tap would be frozen. Ridiculous!

To add insult to injury there is another tap located on the north side of my building and sits entirely exposed to extreme conditions. It did not freeze until the temperature dropped below -30. Now I ask you: how is this possible? And again I cursed my plumber.

So for the entire winter of 2008\09 I bucketed water from the north side of my building, through my office and into the barn. Each bucket accompanied by a curse to the plumber who just kept giving his gift of inadequacy.

Each summer there is a long list of repairs to make and for some reason the plumbing wasn't at the top of the list seeing as throughout the summer it worked perfectly fine.

But as I write this today I'm sitting in my office surrounded by a pool of water that has seeped out of my office wall and onto my office floor. Not out into the barn, but inside saturating my dog Lalla's bed and leaving a sopping wet mess that needs to dry before I can really clean it up.

The new plumber is coming to fix the old plumber's mess.

I guess the season is fitting seeing as he is the gift that keeps on giving.

Be careful what you wish for...: What makes an expert?

Be careful what you wish for...: What makes an expert?

How to be a horseback rider's parent...

Photo Credit: Nina Linton of Nina Linton Photography PEI

It took me 4 years to fall off my first horse.

This is not because I was terribly gifted as a horseback rider, had cat like balance or rode sweet kind old horses - it was luck and luck alone.

By the time I had my first scary fall I was almost 15. A dog came out of no where barking at my horse Dewy's heels. We were riding alone in a small outdoor paddock and happened to be loping a circle. He did the most unexpected and beautiful roll-back - but as he went one way I continued in our original direction, in a summersault and bridge of nose first into a fence post.

When I landed I didn't have time to cry or shake and there was no one around to hug me and kiss it better - my horse was loose! So I chased the dog off, calmed my horse down, put him away and tried in vain to fix the fence post I had broken on my fall.

When I saw my father drive in I figured I could get away without telling him anything, all had been put to rights.

As he approached with a "what the hell happened to you" expression on his face followed by the same question, I tried to shrug it off - he then told me to look at my shirt which amazingly enough was covered in blood, as was my face. So, I went through the story telling him what had happened - his reaction?

"How are we going to sneak this past your mother?"

Horseback riding is not low risk. It's a dangerous sport that can land children and adults alike hurt. Just look at Christopher Reeves.

Risks can be managed but without a doubt if your child sticks with horseback riding they will be bitten, kicked, stepped on and I promise they will fall off. It's hard to manage one thousand pounds of animal when you're 9 years old! As instructors we try to control the risks as much as possible, however, we can't guarantee our horses 100% of the time. They have their own ideas, their own thought process - they are not bicycles. Luck inevitably runs out.

So how do parents deal with the difficulties their children are bound to go through?

Step #1 - Get educated. Buy a book, phone a friend and tour some stables to watch lessons. There is no one true right way to teach horseback riding, so go with a place that you think would work for your child. Accept that it will be challenging and frustrating no matter where you go and that your child will have to face some things that may be scary.

Step #2 - Don't freak out. When something goes wrong let the experts handle your child. If you freak out they'll freak out and a scary situation becomes scarier. If you can't do that, allow another parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend take your child to lessons. You'll be doing them a favour.

Step #3 - Take a lesson yourself so you know what your child is going to be faced with - if you can, take a lesson with them and allow them to teach you a thing or two!

Step #4 - When bad things happen so long as blood is not gushing and a hospital visit is not required, remember 2 things: most of the time, it's not the horse's fault and if a horse bucks you off, you get right back on. Kids may need some encouragement to get back on or to learn to trust the horse again. It's worth it and later they'll thank-you for it.

We learn confidence and self-esteem not by dealing with the easy stuff but by getting through the difficult situations. When working with horses we are faced with many difficult situations and our love of the animal carries us through. Coaches and other riders can sometimes better help your child deal with these situations because once upon a time we were there too.

The little girl in the picture was 8 years old when she started. Because of her size everything was harder for her. At first she received help, then we started to take it away. This little girl can lift a 30lb western saddle onto a horse's back without help. Does she feel weak, or empowered?

What makes an expert?

Apparently, I'm an expert.

I don't particularly feel like an expert however I'm not entirely sure how an expert feels.

My life often lands me flat on my ass covered from head to toe in mud, battered, bruised with a huge smile on my face, crying my eyes out or cursing... I didn't really think experts did that kind of thing.

Until recently I imagined experts to be people who wrote the books and taught the classes. They were the ones who knew it all, the ones with the answers. Me? I only have questions. Most of which surround why I'm covered in mud, flat on my ass, smiling (or crying), bruised and battered and of course, my sanity is always up for debate. Recently, however, I was asked to lecture at the University of Guelph Kemptville Campus, the Equine program. A program that I graduated from a few years ago. It would seem the student has become the teacher and I am left to discover and present my expertise.

So here I am preparing for a lecture on equine facility management and I don't feel as though I am qualified to teach students how to manage anything - unless it's how to end up flat on their asses covered in mud. For this I am expertly trained. Most of the time I find myself fondly remembering doing the bidding of others - being managed. Half the work and a quarter of the responsibility. What kind speech is that?

I'm left with my experiences of the process - designing and building my own facility and attempting to execute my business plan. Through this I've learned one thing loud and clear: the books, the teachers, the 'experts', don't tell you the truth and they definitely do not teach you what you need to get through it. They lie. They make it sound as though business people have it all together, like things happen in an ordered linear fashion, like doors don't blow in, like coyotes don't exist, like a balance actually does and like they would never end up on their asses in the mud. Ha!

So here's my truth and the basis of my lecture, what I've learned.

Your education, degrees, certificates or otherwise don't amount to anything when your horses escape, head down your driveway and you're on your farm alone. No book will teach you about these situations and no book will teach you how to pick yourself up out of the mud, abandon the lost rubber boot that got you there in the first place, shake off the the ew factor and walk confidently back to your office knowing full well the boot retrieval mission may find you in exactly the same position the next day.

I don't work with kids and horses because I like mud - I do it to find answers to my questions and because everyday I have to deal with the mud is a day working with kids and horses is possible. I love my work and I believe in it even when it sucks. And I promise you there will be days when it will suck and I can promise you if this is something you love it will still be worth it.

You'd just better love it a lot!